"Smile”
by Roger Wilson
Have you ever had a time when you just sat down and
thought, What have I to give?
Russell Wilson can throw a strike with a football—thrill millions
watching as a Golden Tate makes a spectacular catch.
Sometimes we wonder as we hear a song like “God Bless America”…how rich the person who put the notes and words together—what
a gift to give.
Or a writer like Ariele Huff who is able to write an entire article on
truth and make us hang on to every word as we read.* (Article
follows)
How we cheer when we see someone’s dream come true on the race track—California Chrome—bought for $8,000—winning millions of
dollars for a 77-year-old man. He waited a lifetime, but it finally was his
turn…a gift finally given.
He shares his gift with us as we see his
horse run.
Those who work for years to find an answer
to some terrible disease, then success—his or her gift.
When asking God, “What is my gift to give?” don't be
surprised if He says, “Look in the mirror. Smile!”
A gift to yourself, better yet. When you
give your gift to someone else, it costs so little but means so much to someone
who is hurting, or has a difficult battle
to fight. Just
your smile will give them the courage
to "hang tough."
After you smile, they have the courage to
get through their day. Your gift to the world is there just
waiting for you to step up to the plate and smile when you want the world to
love you.
All
you have to do is Smile.
The
entire world is yours.
Smile!
*TRUTH
Ariele M. Huff
Truth is one of
the most powerful words and concepts humans have. It is something we continually tell one
another we want to receive and to deliver.
More proverbs, philosophic homilies, religious quotes, myths, and
folktales address truth than any one other concept. And yet, the misunderstandings around this
concept are equally as ubiquitous.
Misunderstanding
#1: The truth is the same for all people. In my "True Stories" personal
experience writing class, I share with students a story that points up the
subjective nature of truth. When my
mother and her two sisters were small, one of them was given a doll for
Christmas and one of them broke that doll.
In each sister’s memory, it was she who was given the doll and another
sister who broke it. They all sincerely
believe their version of the story. In a
case like this, there is, of course, an actual truth: one sister did actually
receive the doll, one sister did actually break the doll. I use the story as an extreme example of how
we all see each situation, each interaction, each result.
Many times in this
class I am asked how someone writing about childhood abuse can deal with the
abuser’s denial of the "truth."
I point out that many times people are unwilling to admit to
mistreatment of others for fear this validates their badness. But, I also like to draw students’ attention
to the fact that each person knows his/her own motivation and personal
experience best. For example, a parent
who was raised being beaten or even molested often considers this an expression
of love or the way things must be done, rather than an “abuse.” This attitude does not change the wrongness
of the behavior, but it does show how the concept of truth is individual. Again, this is an extreme example.
A less extreme
example: I give a class of up to forty people the same assignment to describe
the room we are in or to narrate the events of our last hour together. Each student has a different
perspective. No two papers are
identical. Each student would claim
his/her paper to be the "truth" of the situation. In twenty years of teaching, I have never had
two identical responses to any of over a hundred writing assignments—all those
versions of the truth!
Misunderstanding
#2: Truth is absolute, none of it created in our minds or emotions. When my sister and I were little, our family
took a rather long trip in a small boat.
The trip was terrifying for my sister and for my mother, but it was
exhilarating and adventurous for my father and me. If five other people had been along, there
would be five other feeling truths about this trip. In one of my writing classes, I show my
students a line drawn between nonfiction and fiction. I believe that all communication exists
somewhere on the spectrum in between the two.
I do not believe there is any such thing as pure nonfiction (fact) or
pure fiction (invention). Even those who
record scientific experiments, who are attempting not to interfere with factual
documentation, are found to have slightly slanted the findings by choices of
words, accidents of observation, human error.
Equally so, there is no pure fiction or something totally new created by
any person without a basis in something s/he already knows or has
experienced.
Misunderstanding
#3: It is always best to tell the truth.
Since truth is subjective, it expresses that which we believe or serves
our purpose. Truth can be used to
hurt. Truth can be used to
disempower. Truth so often comes down to
advice: something everyone wants to give and no one wants to get. Certainly,
all those religions, philosophies, and authors of fables, myths, and folktales
did not intend to give us a weapon with which to hurt each other.
Misunderstanding
#4: Telling the truth of your own feelings improves relationships. On the contrary, it is often a quick way to
lose a relationship. Maybe that is what
is meant by "The truth will set you free!" The courage to share your own truth and claim
it as your own does not promise a good outcome.
In my own life, I have found my own truth often offends or
inconveniences others. Many times I have
withheld my truth to save relationships.
Many times, I have shared my truth and taken the consequences. A few times, I have shared my truth and
received acceptance for it. The
important issue, I think, is to realize that others are not bound by any rule
to like being told your truth.
Naturally, we would like to have relationships that can stand the light
of certain important truths, but do not expect everyone in your life to bow to
this concept or to share your concept of what the truth is.
Misunderstanding #5:
People admire those who tell the truth.
In theory, we like to believe that we do. In reality, "whistle-blowers" and
"tattle-tales" are two of the pejorative names attached to
"squealing." The active
dislike of those even very popular people like Roseanne and Latoya Jackson who
have disclosed family abuses shows our actual dislike for those who reveal
information we do not want to hear.
All in all, my
dealings with this matter as a writer and teacher of writing show me that truth
is subjective and not at all the black and white issue we often wish it
was. Even when there is a physical fact
hidden somewhere in the data, the interpretation of it can differ as widely as
attitudes about art and politics. An example I give to writing students is how
most editors, teachers, English handbooks, and bosses have slightly different
methods of placing commas; however, most of these "authorities" acts
as though God spoke directly to him/her/them to give one-on-one instruction in
this important punctuation topic.
I think, handling
truth is like handling nitroglycerin: to be done gently and with caution. And, I also think, as I once said with
exasperation to my husband during a hurtfully revealing argument, "Truth
is highly over-rated."
Published
in The New Times News 6/98
